Well this is going to be one of those deep and thoughful posts, you know no photos, just words. I've been pondering the past few days about "What really matters" in my life and have come to some pretty tough conclusions, like am i the sort of Mother or Daughter i would like to be, could i be a better wife, am i the sort of person I'd like to have as a friend., the list goes on, am i really as busy as i make out or am i avoiding important parts of my life and those around me.
Well the past few days had been unusually quiet and peaceful and yesterday morning i felt blissfully happy, it was a wonderful feeling something I'm not use to and i'd like to feel more often , don't get me wrong i don't have a horrible life, but like a lot of folk these days i don't live a conscience existence, we rush around doing a lot of stuff that isn't really important but convince ourselves it is, spend too much time on the computer, stalk each others lives on face book, but have no time to cook and eat a meal with our famliy, our phones ring to much, how many times do you use your mobile will eating dinner or heaven forbid while at the toilet,we spend to much time on EBay and far too little time being quiet and still with ourselves, Oh the list goes on of my sins to my poor battered soul. Anyway back to the HAPPY feeling i felt yesterday, i use to feel that way most of the time when i was younger(not just as a child) and after much thought it dawned on me that when i was younger i put more thought into" What really mattered" to me and my family, i lived in the real time moment back then, then slowly i allowed myself to be distracted from reality, you know you've gone to far when you tell yourself and your kids, significant other you don;t have time to do the things that are needs let alone wants.
I mean sure we all have to work and mix with other people, but we need to take time to put things and sometimes others and ourselves in our place, is being busy worth it if you have no quality of life, i don't think so.
So I'm making a list if" What really matters" to me first and my Family, the rest of the world can take it's appropriate place. Tough i know but it's how things were done when i was i was a child, before mobile phone, over scheduled children and the Internet(can should be useful in moderation), and bosses who think your a slave not an employee, people knew their place and respected others,there was a start and finish to the day and week.
I'm also going to pick my self to pieces about some personality traits i need to do away with, being an adult does not give us the right to be rude and do what ever we jolly well please then expect our kids to be perfect when they have bad examples shoved in their faces everyday, they are watching us all the time, they are and will become the product of our bad behaviour and our anxieties.
I guess this what OPRAH calls light bulb or AH!! HA!!! moments, a chance to learn and put things right as best we can, a chance to work out WHAT REALLY MATTERS.
Tonight i will decorate a gingerbread sliegh and house with my daughters and grandson. So the list is getting shorter,only 5 gifts left to buy,1 wall hanging to make and cards and gifts to be sent tomorrow, and a little baking on friday and i will be happy enough this year.
